My Way to Grieve May Not Be Your Way to Grieve

In the early days after losing my son, I had no idea what I was doing.  I was simply trying to survive.  Some days that meant just taking my next breath without falling to my knees, sobbing in his room.  There were times I wanted to hide from the world, because I couldn’t bear to be “the strong one” holding everyone else up.  So, I cried in the privacy of my home, where no one could see how broken I was becoming.  I searched for answers that never came.  How is a parent supposed to go on living after their child has died?  It made no sense to me then, and some days it still doesn’t.

If you’re in that place right now, I want you to know that whatever you’re feeling, and however you’re getting through the day, is okay.  There is no wrong way to grieve.

Grief becomes a part of our being; even if we pursue ways to cope with our loss.

My story took a turn that may look different from yours, and that’s perfectly fine.  I just couldn’t stay in a mindset that only focused on my sorrow.  It isn’t that I loved my son any less.  It’s that I’ve always been someone who looks for the light, or the lesson, even in the hardest places.  I can’t explain it, and I know some people wonder how I could keep looking for something positive after experiencing something so devastating.  Now, over a decade later, I feel called to walk beside others who are learning to carry their own loss.

Over the years, I’ve been part of grief support groups, and I honor them.  There is real healing in gathering with people who understand that this pain never fully goes away.  Those circles are a gift, and many people need them.

But I needed something a little different.  I didn’t want grief to become my whole identity.  I wanted to heal, to learn, and to find coping tools that truly worked for me.  That doesn’t mean I wanted to rush past my pain or “get over” it.  I never will, and I don’t believe we’re meant to.  It simply meant I couldn’t stay in the darkest part of that hole without reaching for a way to climb toward the light, even slowly, even one rung at a time.  Maybe that isn’t your path, and that’s okay.  You get to choose what works for you.

That’s how I began creating resources for others who were hurting.  I knew I couldn’t be the only one searching for healing and trying to rebuild a life after heartbreak this deep.  My company, The Solution Wizard, grew into something I never expected.  What began as a place for my writing has become a personal development company offering resources for grief healing too.

It was never about overcoming loss.  Grief is a path we will walk for the rest of our lives.  But within that path, I believe there is room to find healing, even in our deepest despair, and to still appreciate the life we’ve been given while we are here.

Over time, I also rebuilt a spiritual connection with my son.  Because of that, I don’t grieve him the way I once did.  This is simply where my journey has led me, and yours may unfold in its own time and in its own way.

So, wherever you are today, whether you’re on the floor in the hardest moment or taking a small step forward, I hope you’ll be gentle with yourself.  My way to grieve may not be your way.  But I hope you know you don’t have to walk it alone.

About The Solution Wizard

Founded by Canadian author and instructor Kim Halerwich-Clark in 2013, The Solution Wizard offers books, online courses, and holistic resources designed to support personal development, emotional well-being, and healing through life's challenges. This fourth grief-focused course expands the collection of compassionate learning resources created to help individuals navigate loss, develop resilience, and discover new perspectives on their healing journey.

The 4th course focused on grief healing by The Solution Wizard is coming out soon.

Meet Your Instructor: Kim Halerwich-Clark

Kim Halerwich-Clark is a Canadian author, Certified NLP & Grief Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher specializing in grief work, hypnotherapy practitioner, and Gene Keys Guide. Having experienced the devastating loss of her teenage son in 2015, Kim brings personal understanding, compassion, and training to her grief-support education. Through her books, guided meditations, online courses, and holistic practices, she helps individuals explore practical tools for emotional well-being, personal growth, and learning to live with loss while continuing to honour the love they carry. Learn more about her at The Solution Wizard website and Learning Portal.